An excerpt from book 3!

 -this is a small excerpt from my third book called "It's Raining Men and my Umbrella is Electrically Charged; and a hundred other ironies of living"

 

Thoughts?

What is it that feels pain and hurt when we lose someone, or when life goes left when all you wanted was right? What tells our chest to ache as we let go of ideas and fantasies of whom and what we thought life would be? Is it our ego, or is that our soul mourning? I tend to think it’s our EGO, because the Soul knows that everything is temporary here, it’s all just moments in this one time and space, and it has limits; the ego limits us.

A friend and I talk about this often; we refer to it as “sleeping” in life. Its death while you’re alive, isn’t it? It’s sad how much chaos and pain we cause ourselves when we operate from our ego.

It’s in those moments when we release ourselves from our ego and surrender to our Soul that we begin to awaken. We begin to understand this whole process of living better; we find ourselves opening up to different ideas and being thirsty for knowledge because we come to know that knowledge equals power.

As is par for this game of Chess that we call life, certain moves, experiences, people and places will create a great shift in our lives, offering something that is new and needed in that very moment, changing us, forcing one of two things to happen, we grow or we get stuck. I’ve been blessed by experiences and people that forever altered me, in ways that are almost too amazing for words, but something in me is compelled to try.

I wake up each morning, and as I stand to brush my teeth or wash my hands at the bathroom sink, I read a prayer that I have typed and taped to my mirror, and something that a stranger wrote in a writing group a great many years ago, and I always walk away feeling renewed in some sense, like maybe I stand a little taller and hold my head a bit higher than I did when I first went into the bathroom. I make the time to make the connection to my Divine Source, not just in that moment in the mirror, but often throughout my day.

Beyonce’, in an interview once said, “God is real. God is in me, God is in all of us” Truer words have not been spoken. We are all born with a God Center, whatever you refer to that Energy as is not nearly as important as the underlying message of love, light and support that we feel when we awaken to that Divine Connection within us. Along with that awareness comes a journey into FAITH- that unseen force that teaches us about trust and patience; and from there the world opens up to us in so many ways.

I am a woman who lives very instinctually, I always have to some degree, I’m just noticing that it is more and more in tune as I move from day to day and through different experiences in my life. I’ve made choices and decisions based upon my “gut feeling” more times than not, and I know, have scared my mother half to death at times; but in those moments that I have listened and moved when prompted, I never regret, but I always come away altered and wiser. I’ve come to think of those instinctual feelings as communication between my Self and the Higher Energies that I am connected to; my angels, spirit guides and God and Goddess. If I listen, they are always offering me guidance, but as life does now and then, things get loud and Ego steps in and tries to run the show and in those moments I stumble, sometimes I trip and fall all the way to my knees and right then I pause;  I surrender and I listen.

I say all of that, to say this; nothing that we experience is an accident, there is no such thing as coincidence. If I tell my Self everyday that today will be a horrible day, the universe will set in motion all of the horrible things it can, just to prove me right; so that I can say with justified agony, “See! I was right, this was a horrible day!” On the other hand, if I tell my Self that today will be a great day, and that no matter what is thrown at me along the way I will prevail because I am Divinely guided and always protected, I will end the day with a smile and a sense of content gratitude, because maybe today wasn’t a perfect day, but it was a day worthy of being thankful for regardless. We create and manifest that which we desire, we draw to us that which we give our energy and focus to; The Law of Attraction. It’s as real as the nose on your face, I promise you. My life has been a constant testament to this premise.

 

Is This Thing On?

It's been awhile since I have posted here,not because I haven't been writing, but more because I am working on my 3rd book project and putting most of my time into that and not posting anything real new, so that when the book comes out, it will be fresh and untouched; an element of surprise, if you will.

But as I was sitting here drinking my coffee today, I decided that maybe I had some things to jot down and share with you all, my faithful readers.
First of all and most importantly- I want to say that GOD IS AMAZING!  My Aunt was just recently diagnosed with Breast cancer, and underwent surgery and came out like the fighting champ she is, doing well and on her way to a speedy recovery. The last picture I saw of her was from a hospital bed giving the thumbs up. I love her courage and I am so very thankful that she is doing alright.

I've been doing alot of reading about the Law of Attraction again; understanding moreso than ever that we create the experience that we have in life by the energy we give to our thoughts. I'm still learning, and I'm still guilty of getting stuck in a thought I don't want to think or in a mood that I would rather not expend any of my energy on, but I know that I have made and continue to make progress in directing my thoughts to positive moves and goals. I think we all go into a new year with our hearts filled with giant hope about what that year will bring us, and a sigh of relief as we leave the old shit behind;but how long does that feeling of hopefulness last you? For me,it usually made it through January, and then after that it was like, oh yea, here we are again, same shit different day, right?  When 2014 rolled around though, I was in a whole different mind set, a very strong one that this was going to be a great year for me, I could literally feel it! And as of right now, that feeling is as strong as ever, it's just a matter of drawing myself a map.

The message I wanted to share with all of this is simple;
BE HERE NOW; but keep building steps and keep taking them one at a time until you reach the destination mark on the map, where-ever that may be on your map.
Be MINDFUL of your thoughts; Be full of simple GRATITUDE. I say Thank You every time I am blessed with a hot bubble bath, because I know there are some who go without. Be JOYFUL as you lay down in your bed at night because there are those who sleep on the hard ground.
We draw to us what we put out; the simple Law of Attraction. What kind of life do YOU want?

What You Think You Know- part one

I am a face book junkie- its how I start my mornings as I drink my coffee and wander through the lives of those I care about. I love that technology has given us so much ability to stay connected to one another over miles and miles in between us.

Everyone has their reasons, and needs for the social site, some people just like the connection that it offers to those we love and miss who are too far to just go sit and visit with, some people like it for the attention they can draw to themselves with whatever methods they choose on any given day, and some people need it to air dirty laundry on a daily basis and make sure that the world knows how “victimized” they are. Ho Hum.

Whatever it is for each person is for them to understand, we all have the option of taking people off of our newsfeeds, deleting them all together or a multitude of other ways to rid ourselves of that which we don’t feel we want to see, or need to know about others.

For ME- fb has become a place to reach others with positive messages, empowering messages, I find myself drawn to other pages and sites that feed the need in me for forward progress, the ones that nurture something in me that needs healing- and those that keep me connected to my source with reminders and beautiful images of the light within. The funny thing about it all is that I will get messages sometimes asking me if things are ok, or if someone has “hurt me” because of something I will “share” or a quote I will pass on….Yeah, the irony is that people think they know who you are and what you are about or going through by the things they see you post.
I’m ready to enlighten you all to something-

I am good, but I have been through things. I am strong, but I have been knocked on my ass at times, I’ve loved and been betrayed by those who I believed loved me back, but I am better because of it.

I don’t post all of those things for myself everyday; I post those things because I truly believe that we as human beings need to stop being so selfish and self centered and understand that the more we are open and giving to the world around us, the more healed and centered in the right things we become. I believe in being that which I hope to receive; and I believe that we all go through things to make us wiser and stronger so that we can share what we know with each other and grow one another, instead of stifle and hold down.

I was never very trusting or open to relationships with women, until I met my best friend in 2003. She started out as my manager at a job that I practically begged for as I was going through my divorce, I don’t think either of us realized how our lives were about to be changed by one another, but being part of that group of women in that small store taught me about the love of women and how powerful it is, and with each passing day, I know that the love I share with her, my sister, my confidante, my best friend is something that I don’t ever want to be without again.

I became a sexual assault advocate in 2010, and sat in groups of women listening to the stories and feeling their pain, because I was one of them, we shared pain, we shared fear, but more importantly, we shared victory, because we are SURVIVORS, not victims.
(continue to part 2)

One of those days

Today is one of those days when my mind is swimming and the unanswered questions lurk like a predator in the dark.
The one thing I have to keep reminding myself of is this...My FAITH is bigger than any problem this world can give me, it's just a matter of reminding myself of that over and over again.

Today I pray for a friend who just lost her son; in the blink of an eye life is taken just as easily as it was given and it is the "not knowing when" our time is up that makes me want to reach higher in each moment and to consistently work to be better than I was, because I do not want to live with regrets and even more I never want to regret the things I should have said, or could have experienced if only I would have been brave. In anothers loss, I am awakened to the fragility by which we exist; the next moment is never promised to us.

Tomorrow is Emily's birthday, and people that I love will celebrate her life, and hurt over the empty place she left. The comfort that I have though is that she never leaves, she is always lingering near watching out and directing the steps of those she left behind, including me. She says she sits with me at night because I am comforting to her and little does she realize that just that knowledge alone inspires me to stay connected to the light inside of me, because if her angelic spirit finds comfort in me, it tells me that there is something good in me, something that she can feel and see; I feel like I owe it to her to rise above the chaos and disorder in and around me and be the woman I was created to be. I want to stay worthy of her love and light in my life, and show appreciation by doing the work I need to do. Thank you for your presence and your love in my life little girl-

It's a writing kind of day- writing, music and meditation...I am merely the vessel thorugh which you flow- I surrender.

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

The Morning After

July 14,2013

 

I woke up this morning and sat down to write with tears in my eyes; how can life be so fickle? I spent the day with my son and daughter in law, and a terrific friend and came home riding the high from my day; to hear a verdict of not guilty in the Zimmerman/Martin case. My heart sunk, the outrage took over and I felt myself feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Why? Because I’m white, and for a moment I believed that this was about color, but this morning, I realize it’s far deeper than that; it’s about the horrific flaws in this system of “justice” that we have in this country. It’s not because he was a young black man, because if that were the case, why did FLA let Casey Anthony go after the world knew damn well she killed her children; they were all white.  White parents, Mexican parents, native parents, NO ONE is excluded in this ugliness of the world, we all lose! And I know in my heart that across the U.S people of all colors were supporting this young man and his family, we didn’t see color, we saw the loss of an innocent life, period. I read things this morning about how this is the white folks getting back at the blacks for the O.J case. I scratch my head and wonder how feeding this line of thinking is going to get us anywhere good?  I responded to an online forum and was told that because I was white I didn’t understand and never would. Really!?

 

Let me clarify something; I am a MOTHER, that trumps your damn skin color bullshit, I’m tired of all this bitching about race, stand up and DO something about all of the injustices you feel instead of pointing fingers I know this world is biased in some ways, but we are not ever going to invoke change by sitting on our hands and letting it victimize us, stand up and be heard! DO something to bring about positive change with all of that emotional energy! Russell Simmons said that last night, “we must remain peaceful. No matter what, remain peaceful. If you have anger this evening, put that energy into challenging these horrible laws that allow overly-anxious neighborhood watchmen to carry guns and shoot innocent people.”

 

A man and a woman lost a son, it doesn’t take being the same race for anyone to understand that, it takes a heart, and human compassion; I had just spent the day with my son, don’t think I didn’t sit here last night imagining the horror of him being gone. We cannot let this become more unrest amongst us, we cannot let the ugliness of the world win, we have to rise up and come together and instead of people like Treyvon, MLK & so many others dying in vain, we need to bring about unity and change!!!

 

Stop fighting one another, stop feeding it, and stop being victimized by any of it, RISE UP AND UNITE in positive ways to change the world we live in! I don’t have the answers or the blueprint, but I look around and I listen, and I see and hear all of the ways we disrespect each other; men/women against one another, black women against white women, and the list goes on and on, its not stopping any of it, it is perpetuating it! Why don’t we recognize that?  We cannot stop hatred with more hatred, we cannot stop racism with more racial tension, we cannot teach non-violence when we are violent…Maybe this is a test to see how far we have come as a people; maybe it has less to do with the dysfunctional justice system and more to do with a Higher Power testing us to see if we will learn and this time come together in peace and for peace, or whether we will let this divide us even more than we already have. We can blame whoever we want day to day for being treated less than by others, but each and every moment of every day that we are given we wake up with the ability to freely choose how we feel and WHO WE WILL BE that day. You can choose to be angry because the world is unfair to you, you can blame it on your skin color, you can blame it on your weight, but ultimately, we all have a choice to either stand for something good, or fall for something less. I choose to love and to stand for my fellow people, no matter their color, creed, etc…I CHOOSE to think good thoughts even in the midst of pain and sorrow, because I know in my heart that good always prevails over evil, in some way or another I know that it does.

 

 

George Zimmerman is not a free man today; he was dismissed of charges yes, but for the rest of his life he will look over his shoulder and not feel safe, he will fear for his family’s safety, he will never gain back the life that he knew. He didn’t really win; it’s more a matter of where we imprisoned him because he is behind bars no matter how you want to see it.

 

My heart hurts this morning, we are a society and a government full of ills, and we just keep band aiding the issues instead of actually getting in there and building something better, but I’m going to send one more prayer up for all of us right now, I’m going to pray for guidance and for love and patience and compassion because we all need it, and then I’m going to dust myself off and go out into the world be the positive change I want to see; one person, one step at a time, because it’s better than doing nothing but crying in outrage w/no movement forward.

 

R.I P Treyvon, you are truly in such a better place than this mess we are left with here…

Everyone needs to bow their heads and pray to whatever God you pray to, and send something positive out for this family, for this world, for yourself and for me; turn this into positive energy and watch change begin.

 

~Peace, Love & Light

 

 

 

A Dreamers Vision:

A Dreamers Vision:

 

John Lennon told us to imagine a world

With no greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man;

Progress does not just happen, it is made.

Each day as I rise with air in my lungs, I

Am reminded that I am blessed and that today

I am chosen to once more go out into the world

And be the changes I want to see.

My kind heart and forgiving soul are

No guarantees that the world will gift

Me back with the same;

But I do it anyway.

 

I live in a world that takes more than it gives sometimes

But I keep giving anyway.

I dream in color, but now and then life delivers in black and white;

I’ll keep dreaming in vivid color anyway.

I put my heart out only to have it stepped on time and time again;

But I will keep my heart open anyway.

 

There is no promise or any kind of guarantee that life will be kind,

That people will treat you with respect and simple courtesy,

But it’s important that we stay connected to our Source, our Creator, and that we continue to give what we can, believe in the best in people and just SMILE ANYWAY!

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Prayer- Staying the Course

STAYING THE COURSE

In the air today, I feel the winds of change Father God.

In the air today, I feel the passage of time and a shift in direction.

In the air today, I feel hopeful for I know a positive change is right around the corner.

My arms are parted and waiting for You, God.

My hands are empty and I'm open to receive God-ordained encounters and experiences that take me to new heights.

My mind is free from thoughts that take me backward or forward.

I welcome the opportunity to practice patience and presence.

Thank you for granting me the power and persistence to stay the course, to quiet the ego mind and to stay firmly anchored in the here and now.

I am so very grateful to see with new perspective. I am thankful to have a renewed sense of hearing that sets me straight.

I appreciate the inner voice that reminds me that everything is more than okay, a faith that assures me that I am well taken care of.

I know that I have the power to speak good over my life and, in doing so, I am in the flow of God's goodness, grace and mercy.

For this and so much more . . . I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amen.

Reverend Stacy Amara

Opening to Joy

OPENING TO JOY

Blessed Mother, Father God, the Source of all good things, Divine Indwelling Spirit.

Today, I open my heart to receive and allow every gift that has been prepared for me.

I open my heart and my mind to allow joy into my life.

God, I confess that in the past I have been afraid to truly allow joy into my life. I confess that I felt a deep sadness over this awareness.

Somewhere in my life I came to have a deep seated belief that if good came into my life there would be a price to pay.

So, I didn't allow myself to truly celebrate all the good in my life for fear it would be taken away.

Divine Source of all things, I know better now.

So, I open my heart to receive and allow JOY.

I celebrate all the gifts of this life remembering that is what You have always desired for me and that I am worthy.

I am grateful for the healing of these old patterns and beliefs.

In gratitude, I accept all that is mine by divine birthright as the beloved child of the Most High God.

Thank You God, I love You God.

I let it be so and so it is. Amen.

Minister Lynn P. Barber

Day 4 & 5 of 30- Positive thinking

So yesterday was a challenging day to say the least; I did alright, but left alot of room for improvement, for sure. It's easy to find gratitude and positive light when the world seems to be less threatening, but when life is throwing punches and a person has to dodge and weave the hits, it becomes more of a challenge. My goal is to focus on the good things though and not dwell in the lower vibration that life is trying to pull me down to while I am doing this 30 day experiment.

I finally made some time to just sit down and watch some good movies with friends last night, enjoyed some great laughs and some good times.

I am witnessing the strength and beauty in my beautiful daughter as she deals with her own struggles these days. She makes me proud without even realizing it and although I do worry for her regardless of what she says; I have Faith that she is resilient enough to rise above any and all of the bullshit that is being tossed in her direction right now.

Today I'm just simply glad to be here; to be Me and to be living life each day, even through the struggles and the pains, I can rejoice in the fact that I am still going, still pushing and still succeeding one step at a time. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Day 2 & 3 of 30-

I have to play catch up a bit because I didn't write last night when I got home from work like I said I would. So I will cover yesterday and today in this post. :)

When I woke up yesterday morning, the sun was shining again, birds were singing outside the apartment, and just very simply; I woke up! That in and of itself means everything, right? I bought PINK tickets for her concert on my birthday, which excited me beyond belief! Funny story behind that, I was looking into her tour dates because I have wanted to see PINK in concert since she hit the music scene, but every date was sold out that was even remotely close to me. I spoke the words out loud to an associate that it was on my bucket list of things to do before I die, and I left it at that. Two days later, I was checking my email and recieved an email update from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee for upcoming concerts and events; there it was just as bold as ever, PINK had added dates to her tour because of the incredible demand for her tickets and she is going to be in Milwaukee on my BIRTHDAY!!! I took all of this as a sign, I saw it as something I drew to me because I was so focused and passionate about wanting to see her in concert and I put out so much emotional energy on it that the Universe had to deliver if this whole Law of Attraction thing is true, right?

Today, well first of all, HAPPY EASTER to you and yours. I was supposed to be spending the day with my baby brother and his family but instead ended up on the side of the road in a car that didn't want to get me anywhere at that point. I started to go into melt-down mode, but instead I called my bestie and told him what was going on and he was on his way to rescue me from an hour away on Easter Sunday. I wasn't alone when it all happened, I had my amazing friend lesha with me, so her sister was kind enough to come get us back to my house and get her home for Easter with her family. Two nice men helped us push the car out of harms way, and stayed with us until our ride arrived. My baby brother played a part too, and once again, instead of resorting to old panic/stress mode, I stayed grounded with a little help ;)

The car isn't 100% yet, but it will be, I have Faith. Jesus died and rose again, so I have no reason to believe in anything but Faith. Thank you Lord for your love and your guidance in my life; thank you for all those you place in my path to propel me forward, make me stronger, offer me love and support when I need it, and just overall to look out for me when I am in need. I am truly blessed indeed!

DAY 1 of 30

My 30 day Experiement with THE SECRET:

Have you read or heard about The Secret? If not, I highly suggest you just take some time and check it out...it's worth finding out about. I have been in a real shitty cycle in my life for too long it feels like, and I have decided to really, with concerted effort, put forth the work to put the Law of Attraction to the test in my life.

I want to state my intent here on this page; I want to commit to a life change and be more faithful than I have ever been with anything. I really want to rise to this experiment with the Universe and prove to myself beyond anymore reasonable doubt that I am as powerfully part of God as  He and She are a  part of Me. I KNOW it, I feel it, but yet I still falter and lose my step now and then, I want to be FAITHFULLY COMMITTED to changing my life for the better with the power of my thoughts and the focus of my energy.

 

It’s Spring time, it’s a season of newness and growth, so what better time to grow myself? If I were to paint a picture of the kind of happiness I aspire to, it would be a writing career that supports me beyond mere existence, but allows me to enjoy life and help others around me; and the time to just volunteer to the sexual assault center and the hospice program. Both were some of the most rewarding experiences of my life in so many ways, I grew so much during those moments with those people.

 

So starting today, right now in this very moment I am in, I am going to commit to positive energy and thoughts. Every day I am going to journal about my day, about the blessings I received in that day. I’m not going to get caught up in writing sadness or weariness, because I am stronger than that now, I know too much to go backwards anymore. So onward I go...

 

When life hands you .....

...Shit; shovel it!

Okay, I realize that is not the most proper way to begin this, but you do know who you're talking to, right? I just don't really like lemonade or tequila so the whole "when life hands you lemons, grab tequila!" saying doesnt really apply...shoveling shit however, I can relate to that! But let me stop-

Over a week ago my car broke down, you know, just when I was getting stuff figured out financially and seeing that there is truly a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, BAM!! I'm not going to sit here and dwell on the 100 levels of messed up that my car is in right now, but I am going to dwell on the man who has once again come to my side and not left me; aside from my Ever loving Higher Power....the truest, realest man in my life, my best friend from way back.

I've been stuck in self pity, frustration,  & just over all bad attitude over all of this instead of seeing what is so clear in front of me; it could be so much worse first and foremost, but add to that, that I have not been abandoned or left to just deal with all this alone, he has once again come through from miles away to make sure that I am okay and back on the road in my own car, (because Im sure he would like his other car back as well. :) )
Not only has he spent tireless hours under the hood of this ailing vehicle, he keeps a positive attitude, smiles and laughs and tells me over and over that this is what friends are for. I guess I wouldnt know because I have never had as devoted a friend as this one, so it's all still a learning process to me. I had to take a moment to step back and breathe and realize that I'm alright, everything is alright, this is a speedbump and I just forgot to slow down and hit it too hard, so now I have to recover and get back on the right track.  I am a blessed woman and I am so aware of it most days, but i realized today how easy it is to see those blessings when the struggles are far away, the true test of our character comes in times of adversity, and I am not very proud of my character right now, but I am changing it even as I type this. Everything is going to be alright.

There are alot of good people in my life, don't get it twisted, and the real ones who offer emotional support etc mean just as much to me, so I don't mean to leave people out in the cold.  I would like to believe that you all know who you are without saying.
I am a BLESSED WOMAN, and this TOO SHALL PASS.

Have a great Sunday!