One of those days

Today is one of those days when my mind is swimming and the unanswered questions lurk like a predator in the dark.
The one thing I have to keep reminding myself of is this...My FAITH is bigger than any problem this world can give me, it's just a matter of reminding myself of that over and over again.

Today I pray for a friend who just lost her son; in the blink of an eye life is taken just as easily as it was given and it is the "not knowing when" our time is up that makes me want to reach higher in each moment and to consistently work to be better than I was, because I do not want to live with regrets and even more I never want to regret the things I should have said, or could have experienced if only I would have been brave. In anothers loss, I am awakened to the fragility by which we exist; the next moment is never promised to us.

Tomorrow is Emily's birthday, and people that I love will celebrate her life, and hurt over the empty place she left. The comfort that I have though is that she never leaves, she is always lingering near watching out and directing the steps of those she left behind, including me. She says she sits with me at night because I am comforting to her and little does she realize that just that knowledge alone inspires me to stay connected to the light inside of me, because if her angelic spirit finds comfort in me, it tells me that there is something good in me, something that she can feel and see; I feel like I owe it to her to rise above the chaos and disorder in and around me and be the woman I was created to be. I want to stay worthy of her love and light in my life, and show appreciation by doing the work I need to do. Thank you for your presence and your love in my life little girl-

It's a writing kind of day- writing, music and meditation...I am merely the vessel thorugh which you flow- I surrender.

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Universal Law- The Law of Attraction:

I have been on a real roller coaster of emotions again lately; I lovingly refer to it as my caterpillar/butterfly phase because I find myself closing down, withdrawing from the external stuff and quietly retreating inside of my "cocoon" until I feel like my wings are formed and dry and ready to help me soar.

It's not just about evaluating myself anymore; although that remains priority number one, because I am the only person I can change, afterall; but also really taking note of the people I allow to share my life and my energy with. I am waking up more and more to people who, although they may mean well, are not really about anything more than just a bunch of empty talking, pretending to be for me, when the reality is they really are so self absorbed that I am not sure they can see light from the place where their head is stuck. :/  It's okay though, because as I become aware of who those people are, I can begin to re-establish my energy away from them and see them for who they just are. It's also about recognizing the energy suckers in our lives, the people who dwell in such low vibrations of their own that they feel the need to drag the rest of us down to their level; misery loves company.
 Maya Angelou says it best: "When people show you who they are; Believe them."  It's so easy to blind ourselves to truth when it stings our eyes, but how do we truly grow if we don't just open them and stare boldly in?

I'm finding this amazing peacefulness inside more and more in reference to these above mentioned people; I'm finding that I am giving myself permission more and more to just let go;  and let God. I'm finding it easier to just release "relationships" these days, that has never been an easy task for me before, so I can feel progress happening and that is truly a beautiful thing. I've been guilty of holding on when there was really no good reason to, and the lesson I have learned is that when a circumstance or person runs their course just listen to that little voice that reveals the truth to you and as NIKE said, "JUST DO IT", just let go.

We are in the process of an energy shift in the universe; a time when it's more important than ever how and where we direct our own energies, which is yet another reason to give yourself permission to break free from people, situations and experiences that are not conducive to well being and uplifting of your vibration. The Law of Attraction states that like thoughts attract like thoughts, what we focus energy on manifests itself and becomes reality in our lives;  in essence we create so much of what we experience just by the amount of energy we give it.

Let that marinate for a moment...

Where attention goes, so energy flows. Time to ask ourselves what we are paying our attention to and if we're getting the best deal. ;)

Part 2- A father's Love

I don’t believe that things happen by accident or coincidence, even though we use those words redundantly in our lives; each person and every Xperience is put into place for a purpose; lessons that we need to learn or things we need to teach someone else.  With that being stated, it then becomes more of a matter of gaining insight into the why, and as it has been pointed out to me, in this human capacity, we don’t always have the ability to reach that kind of understanding.

So if my perception is that there are open wounds and empty places in relation to my biological father and our lack of a relationship; my job is then to figure out how to apply the correct medicine to heal those wounds from the inside out, right? 

The first vital relationships we have with the opposite sex are with our parents, boys are drawn into the softness and comfort of their mothers, while girls are drawn into the strength and protection they get from their fathers; so if we don’t get those things, can you actually miss something you never had? Yes, because society gave us role models like June Cleaver and Mr. and Mrs. Brady (just aged myself, didn’t I? lol) so we then compare and contrast, us to them, etc…or as kids we witness our friends who have more functional homes than we have and want what they have, and seek the loving relationships that our friends had with their mothers or fathers, feeling confused and resentful when we don’t get the same thing. I recently listened to a clip from one of my favorite authors, Iyanla Vanzant, and she said that the things we experience in this life, are things that our soul decided upon before coming into this body in this physical sphere; things that we wanted to experience to advance ourselves to a higher level of energy and consciousness.

That leaves me thinking that all of this had its place and its purpose then, I’m not a victim, I chose this life because it would offer me the insights I was coming here to gain.

I guess ultimately I need to be thankful for the blessings in all of this, I have to choose that over sadness and a feeling of loss, it’s all a matter of my perception, it seems. I have the pleasure of having his wife in my life today, someone who was as close to him as another can be perhaps, and she so openly and willingly shares her memories of him with me; I know that that is no accident, we both believe he led us to each other because it was time. I think the medicine I need is simple surrender, acceptance and a willingness to just trust that this is all exactly what it was meant to be; and that one day he and I will have that meeting on the beach. I'll meet you there, Dad.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Thoughtful Thursday

I am about to begin my morning ritual to get ready to go earn my wage, but I got thinking about life and people and I felt like I had to release this tidbit of information before I go.

Life is full of all kinds of people, and I realize the importance each one of us has; even the people who hurt us, make us distrust etc...even they have a place because people are not always in our lives to teach us how TO be, sometimes they are there to teach us how NOT TO BE. I personally grew up in a world full of those people and today I'm thankful for them, because as I look in the mirror each day and face that woman staring back at me; I can feel good about who I see.

We spend alot of time in life being pissed off about the lackings of our parents or others, but ultimately there comes a day when the only person you can hold accountable for your actions are YOU. I could have been a statistic because of my past, I could have turned into all that I saw and experienced, but I didn't. I refuse to allow any of that to make me less than I was created to be.

Don't be less than you were created to be; no matter how people try to feed you their insecurity and mental poison; Just say NO.

Have a GREAT Thursday!