An Infinitely Blessed Life

Yes, that is what my life is; and today I married that notion, I committed to believing because my life, even through the struggles, is a living example of the universes way of listening and responding.
I got a tattoo that I feel like I was guided right to by my angels and the energies in my life. I have been wanting more tattoos for awhile now and have had a hard timing figuring out what I wanted and where I wanted it placed, so I have put a lot of thought into what I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life; I take that idea very seriously, so I meditated last night about it, and then I began perusing the internet for the images that I could use to create what I needed.
I printed pages out, cut out the pictures that spoke to me, and then began thinking about the story I wanted to tell with the ink work I am about to have painted symbolically on my skin. For me, the purpose of a tattoo is to tell a story with it, to symbolize something that moved me so powerfully in my life that I want it permanently painted on me.

I was humbled again last night by the pure love and gratitude of a child; I woke up today knowing exactly which design to go with and where I wanted it to be put as a constant reminder of how blessed my life is infinitely. :)

 And here is the final artwork;

 

Blessings Disguised as Trials and Tribulations

Who would have thought that one week ago when I became so ill with this respiratory crap, I would look upon it as a blessing? A what? Yes, I said that, A BLESSING.
Let me explain; I was experiencing a burn-out in ways that I wasn't even directly aware of right away, work burn out, life burn out, all of it; I was drowning in emotions that I felt like I had no control over and knew not where the hell they were even emanating from. I did a good job of smiling in public, making small talk with friends, and carrying on as usual to the everyday world; inside however was a whole other universe whirling; one of stress, fatigue, loneliness and overall questioning. I was questioning everything! Why am I here? Why is everything so damn hard, while others just seem to skate through life unscathed? I had family and friends going through horrible things to which I could do nothing but sit by and helplessly watch and silently pray, but then the light at the end of the tunnel showed itself to me and I understood more.

I was forced off of work, forced to be still, and forced to allow my body to physically just stop and rest; I truly had no choice because in the moments that I thought I was stronger than some damn sickness my body said "screw you, we got you on this one, sit down!" and sit down I did. 

I dove head first into my second weeks of classes and found myself flipping page after page consumed in such a good way by the information in front of me. I've never been big on history, (which I know is not cool, because a lot of it is really some good information), but I was understanding so much more about human behaviors and the processes by which we operate that I couldn't help but just keep going; and going...It brought to light so many factors in my own life in regards to my job, the people I work with and for, and to the world around me and my place in it. I'm not "normal" (what the hell is normal anyway, and who defines what is normal?) and I am SO okay with that. I don't deal with life on a surface level, I feel it inside. It's funny as I think about the people along the way who have had no real understanding and have labeled me as "too emotional", "too intense"; Oh yes, trust me, I am both emotional and intense, but who are you to say it's TOO much? Has the thought ever occurred to those people that perhaps they are "too" disconnected from themselves, from their spirit, from the universe as a whole? Probably not, or else they wouldn't be casting such shallow judgments on others.

I'm recovering well and am back to work today, and I am actually looking forward to stepping back into my role as an advocate for the women in our house, because I have a very renewed sense of myself and my purpose. I know why I'm here, I know who I am and I know that what I am doing is very real, not only to me, but to those I encounter. I am just one small drop in a vast ocean of possibility, yes, but I have the ability and the responsibility to create ripples that will turn into mighty waves.

The Gift of Social Media-

The Gift of Social Media-

 

As I sat skimming through posts on facebook this morning, peeking into the pieces of life that my friends and family share, I was struck by a post. I will say that this person has been an inspiration to me since I met him, and as I got to know his heart, I knew that one day a woman would be one of the luckiest in the world to be at his side. I’ve never met her, although one day I know that I will, but even just the small glimpses of life that they share online, tells me that she is a very special lady, and that not only is she a lucky woman, but he is a very blessed man to have her and he makes no secret of his love and devotion to her, their families and the life they are building together. This wouldn’t be the first time this man has inspired me to write, and it most likely will not be the last, because his never ending enthusiasm for life and forward progress is awe inspiring to any and all he crosses paths with in life, and even through social media he continues to strive in what he calls; his Journey Above Poverty. I feel blessed to call him my friend.

Then a picture popped up of a father and son; another person who has been part of my life’s story and the expression of love and happiness on both their faces, made my heart overflow with love and joy for them. There is no love like the love we get and receive from our children, and the love that we give them is some of the purest love I have ever known personally.

As much as technology aggravates me at times, and escapes my simple understanding, I have come to appreciate my morning coffee and facebook because even across miles and in the midst of our busy lives, there is still this magical connection to those who matter to us.

It makes me happy to see people that I have known for years and spent my childhood with raising beautiful families and living in happy marriages, fulfilling dreams and enjoying and loving life and each other, I enjoy the new friendships that have been started and are being built day by day. I appreciate the support that we give back and forth during good times and bad; the strength and sense of empowerment that we give to one another through our posts and just simply the very fact that I can be part of each of your lives, even if it’s not in person as much as we’d like.

Please know that I see you, I’m always praying for you, for all of us, and that I thank you all for the inspiration, support and friendship that is showered upon me daily by some amazing human beings in my life!

Have a very blessed day, and be a blessing as you go!

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

 

Book 2!!!

And yet another dream comes to beautiful fruition!!! Here it is, a collaboration with one of my favorite writers, my Aunt Becky Corinne Strukamp!! We have talked about this moment for years, today we see it bloom! It is a mixture of y poetry/short story, and a great contribution from my bestie R.Jones, and beautiful heartfelt poetry by Becky. GOD IS SO GOOD and I AM TRULY BLESSED!

https://www.createspace.com/4355919?ref=1147694&utm_id=6026

Annnnd HERE IT IS!!!!

www.createspace.com/4322830 , or Kindle, Or AMAZON.COM

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!

Will also be available on AMAZON.COM in 3-5 days, and is on Kindle as well!

Tanning Bed Illuminations- Intro

It's often funny to me where my inspiration comes from, or when it hits me; for years it was always while I was in the car either riding or driving  and able to just "zone out" into my own sphere where my thoughts moved freely and came to me openly. I realized today as I was lying in a tanning bed that hard as I tried to erase all thought and purpose from my mind, it was no use, the words were moving and creating anyway.
So, I have decided to use that as my new blog series if you will, and its called Tanning Bed Illuminations! Amazing, right? Hardly, but fitting nonetheless. :)

I hope that you will follow along, I welcome feedback and interaction via email and comments etc...how else will I know you're there if you don't show yourself? ;)

Come on, let's enjoy the tanning bed moments together! LOL

A Dreamers Vision:

A Dreamers Vision:

 

John Lennon told us to imagine a world

With no greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man;

Progress does not just happen, it is made.

Each day as I rise with air in my lungs, I

Am reminded that I am blessed and that today

I am chosen to once more go out into the world

And be the changes I want to see.

My kind heart and forgiving soul are

No guarantees that the world will gift

Me back with the same;

But I do it anyway.

 

I live in a world that takes more than it gives sometimes

But I keep giving anyway.

I dream in color, but now and then life delivers in black and white;

I’ll keep dreaming in vivid color anyway.

I put my heart out only to have it stepped on time and time again;

But I will keep my heart open anyway.

 

There is no promise or any kind of guarantee that life will be kind,

That people will treat you with respect and simple courtesy,

But it’s important that we stay connected to our Source, our Creator, and that we continue to give what we can, believe in the best in people and just SMILE ANYWAY!

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Part 2- A father's Love

I don’t believe that things happen by accident or coincidence, even though we use those words redundantly in our lives; each person and every Xperience is put into place for a purpose; lessons that we need to learn or things we need to teach someone else.  With that being stated, it then becomes more of a matter of gaining insight into the why, and as it has been pointed out to me, in this human capacity, we don’t always have the ability to reach that kind of understanding.

So if my perception is that there are open wounds and empty places in relation to my biological father and our lack of a relationship; my job is then to figure out how to apply the correct medicine to heal those wounds from the inside out, right? 

The first vital relationships we have with the opposite sex are with our parents, boys are drawn into the softness and comfort of their mothers, while girls are drawn into the strength and protection they get from their fathers; so if we don’t get those things, can you actually miss something you never had? Yes, because society gave us role models like June Cleaver and Mr. and Mrs. Brady (just aged myself, didn’t I? lol) so we then compare and contrast, us to them, etc…or as kids we witness our friends who have more functional homes than we have and want what they have, and seek the loving relationships that our friends had with their mothers or fathers, feeling confused and resentful when we don’t get the same thing. I recently listened to a clip from one of my favorite authors, Iyanla Vanzant, and she said that the things we experience in this life, are things that our soul decided upon before coming into this body in this physical sphere; things that we wanted to experience to advance ourselves to a higher level of energy and consciousness.

That leaves me thinking that all of this had its place and its purpose then, I’m not a victim, I chose this life because it would offer me the insights I was coming here to gain.

I guess ultimately I need to be thankful for the blessings in all of this, I have to choose that over sadness and a feeling of loss, it’s all a matter of my perception, it seems. I have the pleasure of having his wife in my life today, someone who was as close to him as another can be perhaps, and she so openly and willingly shares her memories of him with me; I know that that is no accident, we both believe he led us to each other because it was time. I think the medicine I need is simple surrender, acceptance and a willingness to just trust that this is all exactly what it was meant to be; and that one day he and I will have that meeting on the beach. I'll meet you there, Dad.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Prayer- Staying the Course

STAYING THE COURSE

In the air today, I feel the winds of change Father God.

In the air today, I feel the passage of time and a shift in direction.

In the air today, I feel hopeful for I know a positive change is right around the corner.

My arms are parted and waiting for You, God.

My hands are empty and I'm open to receive God-ordained encounters and experiences that take me to new heights.

My mind is free from thoughts that take me backward or forward.

I welcome the opportunity to practice patience and presence.

Thank you for granting me the power and persistence to stay the course, to quiet the ego mind and to stay firmly anchored in the here and now.

I am so very grateful to see with new perspective. I am thankful to have a renewed sense of hearing that sets me straight.

I appreciate the inner voice that reminds me that everything is more than okay, a faith that assures me that I am well taken care of.

I know that I have the power to speak good over my life and, in doing so, I am in the flow of God's goodness, grace and mercy.

For this and so much more . . . I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amen.

Reverend Stacy Amara

Dumbing Down

It's a harsh way to put it, but it describes the idea very well....we live in a world that will easily dumb us down if we let it. We find ourselves with people and in situations that don't fit, just so that we have a place...
I'm not calling anyone else "dumb" persay, I am calling what I have been doing dumb though, and sometimes it takes someone outside of it to put it all in perspective.

I've spent time and energy lately on people who aren't, or shouldn't be, part of the bigger picture in my minds eye; people who, although they are good folks, have nothing more to offer me than drama and complacency. I feel like I've lost the connections I have relied on with some over the years, the ones that have fed my thirst for knowledge and inner understanding and replaced them with easy choices that didn't require me to stretch too far; then suddenly you wake up feeling disenchanted, knowing that you did it all to yourself by the company and the choices.

I won't apologize for closing doors and cleaning up my "house" because I understand and recognize that it's necessary in order for me to recieve the real blessings that are for me. I've allowed life to get cluttered and messy and it's never been required, I just got lazy and caught up in my own lonliness and boredom.

I woke up again today, by the Grace of God/Goddess...I have to honor that by pulling up my big girl panties and getting back to the business of creating and being that which I know I was meant for.

Have a very Blessed Tuesday

Into the Sun

Into the Sun:

 

It’s been dark for too long

And I was beginning to get a chill;

I was running for cover

And It felt like it was all uphill.

My lungs were screaming for air

And my mind had grown numb

How do you have a head full of knowledge

And still feel so damn dumb?

I’ve opened up a lot of doors

And fallen through the cracks

I’ve stepped boldly through others and never

Found my way back.

Back to the used to be’s and the once uponatimes

Or to the way I once was;

Embracing what’s new now, inhaling this life and

Just riding the buzz.

It’s been dark for too long

But I think I felt I felt some heat

My spirit slowly moves forward

and this time there will be no retreat.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved.