What is it that feels pain and hurt when we lose someone, or
when life goes left when all you wanted was right? What tells our chest to ache
as we let go of ideas and fantasies of whom and what we thought life would be?
Is it our ego, or is that our soul mourning? I tend to think it’s our EGO,
because the Soul knows that everything is temporary here, it’s all just moments
in this one time and space, and it has limits; the ego limits us.
A friend and I talk about this often; we refer to it as
“sleeping” in life. Its death while you’re alive, isn’t it? It’s sad how much
chaos and pain we cause ourselves when we operate from our ego.
It’s in those moments when we release ourselves from our ego
and surrender to our Soul that we begin to awaken. We begin to understand this
whole process of living better; we find ourselves opening up to different ideas
and being thirsty for knowledge because we come to know that knowledge equals
power. 
As is par for this game of Chess that we call life, certain
moves, experiences, people and places will create a great shift in our lives,
offering something that is new and needed in that very moment, changing us,
forcing one of two things to happen, we grow or we get stuck. I’ve been blessed
by experiences and people that forever altered me, in ways that are almost too
amazing for words, but something in me is compelled to try.
I wake up each morning, and as I stand to brush my teeth or
wash my hands at the bathroom sink, I read a prayer that I have typed and taped
to my mirror, and something that a stranger wrote in a writing group a great
many years ago, and I always walk away feeling renewed in some sense, like
maybe I stand a little taller and hold my head a bit higher than I did when I
first went into the bathroom. I make the time to make the connection to my
Divine Source, not just in that moment in the mirror, but often throughout my day.
Beyonce’, in an interview once said, “God is real. God is in
me, God is in all of us” Truer words have not been spoken. We are all born with
a God Center, whatever you refer to that Energy as is not nearly as important
as the underlying message of love, light and support that we feel when we
awaken to that Divine Connection within us. Along with that awareness comes a
journey into FAITH- that unseen force that teaches us about trust and patience;
and from there the world opens up to us in so many ways.
I am a woman who lives very instinctually, I always have to
some degree, I’m just noticing that it is more and more in tune as I move from
day to day and through different experiences in my life. I’ve made choices and
decisions based upon my “gut feeling” more times than not, and I know, have
scared my mother half to death at times; but in those moments that I have
listened and moved when prompted, I never regret, but I always come away
altered and wiser. I’ve come to think of those instinctual feelings as communication between my Self and the
Higher Energies that I am connected to; my angels, spirit guides and God and
Goddess. If I listen, they are always offering me guidance, but as life does
now and then, things get loud and Ego steps in and tries to run the show and in
those moments I stumble, sometimes I trip and fall all the way to my knees and
right then I pause; I surrender and I
listen.
I say all of that, to say this; nothing that we experience
is an accident, there is no such thing as coincidence. If I tell my Self
everyday that today will be a horrible day, the universe will set in motion all
of the horrible things it can, just to prove me right; so that I can say with
justified agony, “See! I was right, this
was a horrible day!” On the other hand, if I tell my Self that today will
be a great day, and that no matter what is thrown at me along the way I will
prevail because I am Divinely guided and always protected, I will end the day
with a smile and a sense of content gratitude, because maybe today wasn’t a
perfect day, but it was a day worthy of being thankful for regardless. We
create and manifest that which we desire, we draw to us that which we give our
energy and focus to; The Law of Attraction. It’s as real as the nose on your
face, I promise you. My life has been a constant testament to this premise.
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