Promise-

I promised not to be dishonest with you

And I promised to give you respect;

I opened up my world to the possibility

And handed you a signed, blank check.

 

An open account of friendship and affection

The hopeful beginning to something with no end

But love is a chance we all take, never

Knowing what lies around the unseen bend.

 

I felt your arms around me

But could not feel the heat;

I saw your eyes pointed at me,

But did they really see?

 

I promised, but did you?

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

A Dreamers Vision:

A Dreamers Vision:

 

John Lennon told us to imagine a world

With no greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man;

Progress does not just happen, it is made.

Each day as I rise with air in my lungs, I

Am reminded that I am blessed and that today

I am chosen to once more go out into the world

And be the changes I want to see.

My kind heart and forgiving soul are

No guarantees that the world will gift

Me back with the same;

But I do it anyway.

 

I live in a world that takes more than it gives sometimes

But I keep giving anyway.

I dream in color, but now and then life delivers in black and white;

I’ll keep dreaming in vivid color anyway.

I put my heart out only to have it stepped on time and time again;

But I will keep my heart open anyway.

 

There is no promise or any kind of guarantee that life will be kind,

That people will treat you with respect and simple courtesy,

But it’s important that we stay connected to our Source, our Creator, and that we continue to give what we can, believe in the best in people and just SMILE ANYWAY!

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Universal Law- The Law of Attraction:

I have been on a real roller coaster of emotions again lately; I lovingly refer to it as my caterpillar/butterfly phase because I find myself closing down, withdrawing from the external stuff and quietly retreating inside of my "cocoon" until I feel like my wings are formed and dry and ready to help me soar.

It's not just about evaluating myself anymore; although that remains priority number one, because I am the only person I can change, afterall; but also really taking note of the people I allow to share my life and my energy with. I am waking up more and more to people who, although they may mean well, are not really about anything more than just a bunch of empty talking, pretending to be for me, when the reality is they really are so self absorbed that I am not sure they can see light from the place where their head is stuck. :/  It's okay though, because as I become aware of who those people are, I can begin to re-establish my energy away from them and see them for who they just are. It's also about recognizing the energy suckers in our lives, the people who dwell in such low vibrations of their own that they feel the need to drag the rest of us down to their level; misery loves company.
 Maya Angelou says it best: "When people show you who they are; Believe them."  It's so easy to blind ourselves to truth when it stings our eyes, but how do we truly grow if we don't just open them and stare boldly in?

I'm finding this amazing peacefulness inside more and more in reference to these above mentioned people; I'm finding that I am giving myself permission more and more to just let go;  and let God. I'm finding it easier to just release "relationships" these days, that has never been an easy task for me before, so I can feel progress happening and that is truly a beautiful thing. I've been guilty of holding on when there was really no good reason to, and the lesson I have learned is that when a circumstance or person runs their course just listen to that little voice that reveals the truth to you and as NIKE said, "JUST DO IT", just let go.

We are in the process of an energy shift in the universe; a time when it's more important than ever how and where we direct our own energies, which is yet another reason to give yourself permission to break free from people, situations and experiences that are not conducive to well being and uplifting of your vibration. The Law of Attraction states that like thoughts attract like thoughts, what we focus energy on manifests itself and becomes reality in our lives;  in essence we create so much of what we experience just by the amount of energy we give it.

Let that marinate for a moment...

Where attention goes, so energy flows. Time to ask ourselves what we are paying our attention to and if we're getting the best deal. ;)

Part 2- A father's Love

I don’t believe that things happen by accident or coincidence, even though we use those words redundantly in our lives; each person and every Xperience is put into place for a purpose; lessons that we need to learn or things we need to teach someone else.  With that being stated, it then becomes more of a matter of gaining insight into the why, and as it has been pointed out to me, in this human capacity, we don’t always have the ability to reach that kind of understanding.

So if my perception is that there are open wounds and empty places in relation to my biological father and our lack of a relationship; my job is then to figure out how to apply the correct medicine to heal those wounds from the inside out, right? 

The first vital relationships we have with the opposite sex are with our parents, boys are drawn into the softness and comfort of their mothers, while girls are drawn into the strength and protection they get from their fathers; so if we don’t get those things, can you actually miss something you never had? Yes, because society gave us role models like June Cleaver and Mr. and Mrs. Brady (just aged myself, didn’t I? lol) so we then compare and contrast, us to them, etc…or as kids we witness our friends who have more functional homes than we have and want what they have, and seek the loving relationships that our friends had with their mothers or fathers, feeling confused and resentful when we don’t get the same thing. I recently listened to a clip from one of my favorite authors, Iyanla Vanzant, and she said that the things we experience in this life, are things that our soul decided upon before coming into this body in this physical sphere; things that we wanted to experience to advance ourselves to a higher level of energy and consciousness.

That leaves me thinking that all of this had its place and its purpose then, I’m not a victim, I chose this life because it would offer me the insights I was coming here to gain.

I guess ultimately I need to be thankful for the blessings in all of this, I have to choose that over sadness and a feeling of loss, it’s all a matter of my perception, it seems. I have the pleasure of having his wife in my life today, someone who was as close to him as another can be perhaps, and she so openly and willingly shares her memories of him with me; I know that that is no accident, we both believe he led us to each other because it was time. I think the medicine I need is simple surrender, acceptance and a willingness to just trust that this is all exactly what it was meant to be; and that one day he and I will have that meeting on the beach. I'll meet you there, Dad.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

A Father's Love- Part 1

 

A Father’s Love-

 

I visited a friend today and sat and drank coffee and had conversation, and as
is par for he and I, we visited a number of topics and I found myself dealing with a flurry of emotions as we did. I have been so blessed by him and his children in my life, and I thank God everyday for them because they don’t even know how much light and love they shine into darkness at times for me. He has been the picture of God’s love in a human being, his very spirit radiates such goodness that I find myself in awe at times, and I was reminded today that his genuine friendship heals something in me when the seas of life get wild and out of control. I don’t have to wear masks or hide my truths, I am allowed to simply be who I am, in all of my glory and in my gloom, it matters not, they love me regardless.

 

I spoke about my passion to him today, my writing, and I heard myself talking about my father who is passed, a man who also loved to write and before I could capture them, tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn’t speak for a moment. As true friends do, we sat silently at the table for a minute; he understood that I didn’t want or need any sympathy and I didn’t need him to tell me not to cry or feel what I felt; I needed exactly what he offered; silent love and support from inside, there was no need to speak it.

 

My father and I share a love of water and written word, and as I understand it, our very natures seem to be closely intertwined…I’m proud of the man my father was to those around him and the love and lasting impact he left with them; but I still have days when the emptiness hits me like a truck full of lead; that place where he was supposed to be in my life and I find myself wishing he would have fought to keep his place intact in my life; this is not ever to say that the man I call Dad was not good enough or that he didn’t love me, because I know and have always known that he loves me very much, even when I’m not easy to love, he has never allowed me to get too far from him emotionally and I have appreciated that in him a million times over. But as a girl, and now a grown woman, I always felt the space where my father should have been.

As I watched my friend and his little girl today, I realized how much pain dwells inside of me, how much sadness exists because I never felt that kind of protection and nurturing as a little girl. I sat there watching them today; so thankful for him and for the way he loves his children because as I watched her be comforted and her tears kissed away; it was so clear to me that as she grows into a young woman in this world, she will look for the same qualities in a partner, that she will have high standards for a man, because she is being raised by such a quality Man. He is setting the bar high for the next man who enters into her world, and one day she will understand it all so well and be grateful.

There is a picture in my minds eye that comes back to me over and over again where I see my father and I sitting on a beach watching a beautiful sunset, sharing poetry or stories we have written, I imagine him giving me advice and offering guidance with my own writing, I imagine him sitting close enough to me that I can lay my head on his shoulder and feel sheltered from the brutal storms of life while I gather the strength to go back out and keep fighting the good fight; and the truth is, it hurts like hell because I wont ever do that, I will never get that; at least not here in this place.

 

 

 

A voice inside me tells me that he would have “gotten” me, he would have understood me because he is me, and I am him in so many ways that truly matter to me. I never felt like I “fit” anywhere, I didn’t and don’t feel understood by my parents; I don’t blame them for that, but I recognize it and have to accept that it just is what it is, they love me as they are able to, with the tools that they have. It is no longer their job to tend to the child in me, it is my job to nurture her and make sure she is alright now; it’s my job to heal that little girl where she is hurting and make her whole. This is not about blame, it’s about awareness. I have open wounds that have never healed, just slightly scabbed over and then experiences come along and scratch them off sometimes, leaving open sores that bleed and hurt. In all honesty, I’m not sure I know how to make them better.

(to be continued..)

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

A Feel Good dance video

<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=2489117944863" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe>

The Gold Xperience: Prayer- Staying the Course

The Gold Xperience: Prayer- Staying the Course: STAYING THE COURSE In the air today, I feel the winds of change Father God. In the air today, I feel the passage of ...

Prayer- Staying the Course

STAYING THE COURSE

In the air today, I feel the winds of change Father God.

In the air today, I feel the passage of time and a shift in direction.

In the air today, I feel hopeful for I know a positive change is right around the corner.

My arms are parted and waiting for You, God.

My hands are empty and I'm open to receive God-ordained encounters and experiences that take me to new heights.

My mind is free from thoughts that take me backward or forward.

I welcome the opportunity to practice patience and presence.

Thank you for granting me the power and persistence to stay the course, to quiet the ego mind and to stay firmly anchored in the here and now.

I am so very grateful to see with new perspective. I am thankful to have a renewed sense of hearing that sets me straight.

I appreciate the inner voice that reminds me that everything is more than okay, a faith that assures me that I am well taken care of.

I know that I have the power to speak good over my life and, in doing so, I am in the flow of God's goodness, grace and mercy.

For this and so much more . . . I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amen.

Reverend Stacy Amara

Opening to Joy

OPENING TO JOY

Blessed Mother, Father God, the Source of all good things, Divine Indwelling Spirit.

Today, I open my heart to receive and allow every gift that has been prepared for me.

I open my heart and my mind to allow joy into my life.

God, I confess that in the past I have been afraid to truly allow joy into my life. I confess that I felt a deep sadness over this awareness.

Somewhere in my life I came to have a deep seated belief that if good came into my life there would be a price to pay.

So, I didn't allow myself to truly celebrate all the good in my life for fear it would be taken away.

Divine Source of all things, I know better now.

So, I open my heart to receive and allow JOY.

I celebrate all the gifts of this life remembering that is what You have always desired for me and that I am worthy.

I am grateful for the healing of these old patterns and beliefs.

In gratitude, I accept all that is mine by divine birthright as the beloved child of the Most High God.

Thank You God, I love You God.

I let it be so and so it is. Amen.

Minister Lynn P. Barber

Dumbing Down

It's a harsh way to put it, but it describes the idea very well....we live in a world that will easily dumb us down if we let it. We find ourselves with people and in situations that don't fit, just so that we have a place...
I'm not calling anyone else "dumb" persay, I am calling what I have been doing dumb though, and sometimes it takes someone outside of it to put it all in perspective.

I've spent time and energy lately on people who aren't, or shouldn't be, part of the bigger picture in my minds eye; people who, although they are good folks, have nothing more to offer me than drama and complacency. I feel like I've lost the connections I have relied on with some over the years, the ones that have fed my thirst for knowledge and inner understanding and replaced them with easy choices that didn't require me to stretch too far; then suddenly you wake up feeling disenchanted, knowing that you did it all to yourself by the company and the choices.

I won't apologize for closing doors and cleaning up my "house" because I understand and recognize that it's necessary in order for me to recieve the real blessings that are for me. I've allowed life to get cluttered and messy and it's never been required, I just got lazy and caught up in my own lonliness and boredom.

I woke up again today, by the Grace of God/Goddess...I have to honor that by pulling up my big girl panties and getting back to the business of creating and being that which I know I was meant for.

Have a very Blessed Tuesday

Thurs Prayer with Iyanla Vanzant

STAYING THE COURSE

In the air today, I feel the winds of change Father God.

In the air today, I feel the passage of time and a shift in direction.

In the air today, I feel hopeful for I know a positive change is right around the corner.

My arms are parted and waiting for You, God.

My hands are empty and I'm open to receive God-ordained encounters and experiences that take me to new heights.

My mind is free from thoughts that take me backward or forward.

I welcome the opportunity to practice patience and presence.

Thank you for granting me the power and persistence to stay the course, to quiet the ego mind and to stay firmly anchored in the here and now.

I am so very grateful to see with new perspective. I am thankful to have a renewed sense of hearing that sets me straight.

I appreciate the inner voice that reminds me that everything is more than okay, a faith that assures me that I am well taken care of.

I know that I have the power to speak good over my life and, in doing so, I am in the flow of God's goodness, grace and mercy.

For this and so much more . . . I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amen.

Reverend Stacy Amara

Into the Sun

Into the Sun:

 

It’s been dark for too long

And I was beginning to get a chill;

I was running for cover

And It felt like it was all uphill.

My lungs were screaming for air

And my mind had grown numb

How do you have a head full of knowledge

And still feel so damn dumb?

I’ve opened up a lot of doors

And fallen through the cracks

I’ve stepped boldly through others and never

Found my way back.

Back to the used to be’s and the once uponatimes

Or to the way I once was;

Embracing what’s new now, inhaling this life and

Just riding the buzz.

It’s been dark for too long

But I think I felt I felt some heat

My spirit slowly moves forward

and this time there will be no retreat.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Dare you

*Authors Note*  This was written a bit before my divorce back in 2003

 

You demand of me honesty and openness,

But you’ll quickly shun me when it isn’t your ideal version.

Just once, I dare you to hear me.

Close off your judgments and knock down the walls that protect, and

Listen to the words of another for just this once.

Use your power to grow and to heal the wounds of your past,

Instead of to bully and control.

 

I dare you to be a real man.

Raise your voice to bring peace to your world, instead

Of to frighten and condemn another.

I dare you to do what’s’ right.

 

As I stand before you now, the object of your anger and your pain

I dare you to open your ears to hear, open your eyes to see

All that you inflict, and open your heart so that you can feel the way

Mine is breaking inside…..

 

And then, I dare you to look deep inside of yourself and

Face the demons that plague you.  After you’ve done what I’ve asked,

I then dare you, to honestly look me in the eye and

Find all the blame to be mine.

12/2000

 

The Gold Xperience: I Imagine

The Gold Xperience: I Imagine:     “I imagine that we’ll just take turns,” She said. It was a moment face to face with him that changed her life. There wer...

I Imagine

 

 

“I imagine that we’ll just take turns,” She said.

It was a moment face to face with him that changed her life.

There were no words spoken then, just his eyes locked on hers….

“When you feel weak, I will be strong; when the world has u feeling beat,

I’ll be right there loving it all away; and when I crumble, weary from

The struggle, your arms will envelope me and make it all go away.”

 

“I’ll be your shelter, you’ll be mine….surrendering our bodies,

and our minds.” She whispered as she stepped closer to him. He could feel

her breath on his neck, warm and soft.

 

“I’m sharing my heart and my soul with you; I’m going to trust you…”

Her lips brushed against his ear as she whispered to him. He felt a warm rush

Go through him.

 

“And I am sharing mine with you; I’m going to trust you.”

He said as he pulled her to his body.

It was in those moments that it all became so clear. This was the grown up love

That she had traveled years to find.

“I’ll be weak when you are strong, “he said, “I imagine we’ll just take turns.”

And tenderly his lips met hers and he kissed her breath away.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

Her Muse:

 

 

Sculpted and chiseled his form wraps itself around hers;

In his strength is her surrender;

In her surrender is his protection.

In her mind the memory of his lips touching her skin

Consumes and stirs her senses;

Alive and well, her imagination takes over

and travels to a place of lust and abandon.

In her ear she can still hear his passionate whispers,

And on her flesh the heat of his touch.

Opening up like a blossom in the summer sun,

Her flower invites, and her nectar he sips.

The softness of her flesh entices and draws him in;

His senses swim in the sensual curve of her hip as his fingertips

Explore skin.

White hot the passion courses through veins, his and hers,

Flowing with desire as sparks become fire.

Transcended above a space and time, bodies in rapture

A complete meeting of body, soul and mind;

He takes her there, over and over again, and

All she needs to do is simply close her eyes.

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

 

In Loving Memory:

 

 

I view the world sometimes and wonder how the sun can rise and the moon still shine so beautiful and bright when there is so much pain around.

It seems unfair to me that people still have to rise and greet a new day when their hearts are broken and holes are left gaping.

I don’t know what you’re feeling and I pray I wont ever have to; but I know the pain I felt saying goodbye to a little blonde haired girl that I watched come into this world, and I know the pain I felt as I watched you all struggle to breathe and fight the urge to quit.

 

 Emily is a gift we all received and were blessed by for a moment in time; a beautiful precious soul who touched so many people and left her mark forever on our hearts and in our minds. I don’t understand how it’s possible that she is gone already, but I have to believe that GOD knows what He is doing and that He has a plan for her that we just cannot grasp yet. I believe that you got it right, though my dear friend when you said that she was drawn to the wings He offered her. It’s apparent that she knew what she wanted to do while she was here and what she wanted to experience and she made sure that everyone else followed the directions so that all of it could come to fruition for her. She changed you, all of you, all of US, as she traveled through our lives and she was meant to. Andy said that she was an angel who was sent here to teach about Love. And she did.

 

I called to you Emily and asked you to watch over your family and take care of them while they hurt, I asked you for a sign and you gave me the rays of the sun through the window of the church and in the swirling winds in the trees as we stood at your grave and laid you to rest. I laid a rose on your chariot, and I whispered goodbye, but I only said goodbye to the vessel that carried you through this earthly existence, I will never say goodbye to the beautiful soul that shone so brightly from you because I know that that part of you lives on forever.

 

 

 

©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

*

 

Duality

 

I ride the train of extremes in my life, I’m either on top or I’m lying at the bottom

in a crumpled heap. Gray areas have never been my specialty; although I strive to find comfort there more often these days because with age comes knowledge and with knowledge comes wisdom.

It’s one thing to possess wisdom, it’s another thing what we do with it, or don’t. There is a voice within me that speaks to me of love and light; a voice that chatters all day long, even when it has to fight to be heard over the other voice that tries to silence it, and it tells me about a life in vivid color with pictures so alive.

I see what I am reaching for, clear as the nose on my face, but something keeps me

 

 

rooted too firmly in this old familiar place. Garth Brooks once sang about “standing outside the fire” and said that it is not enough to stand outside the fire, that it’s not living if you’re standing outside the fire, he was telling us that life is meant to be lived and risks are meant to be taken, “life is not tried, its just merely survived if you’re standing outside the fire. There is this love that is burning deep in my soul, constantly yearning to get out of control, wanting to fly higher and higher, but I can’t abide, standing outside the fire.” He was right, there is no living if we stay comfortably rooted in our own self created boxes where we feel safe, where we know what to expect, (even when it’s less than desirable) and where we really have to take very few risks. I’ve lived in those boxes, those created by me as well as by others, and it’s true enough that within those walls we can safely explore things and grow; but if you block the sunlight and forget to water a plant it will wilt, and so will we eventually.

I’ve busted out of so many boxes along the way, torn down so many walls around me, and in honesty have sometimes built new ones to put in their place; but always I break out of those too at some point. My spirit is restless too much of the time, seeking that which my minds eye has seen, desperate to quench the thirst in my soul for all I know can be, if only I can come out from behind the walls. I ask myself over and over what I am afraid of, I ponder over what holds me in place, and I find myself shedding tears as I look out the cracks in the doors that stand in front of me. They aren’t bolted shut, there are no locks upon them, they actually stand ajar so really all I have to do is push and open they will be, but I don’t. Why.

I am afraid to be who I am, who I was created to be; I begin and then I retreat. Why.

Each and everyday someone tells me about the impact they believe I have, they speak of power and positive energy, they speak of all these things that I feel inside and truly do know exist; but yet I’m cowering and I don’t know why.

I am a Scorpio; a spirit full of fire and intensity, but fiercely private and alone inside. How do I bring that out into the light and allow the public to finger it? I have to be ready for the onslaught of critiquing and the people who will hate. Is that it? Is that what I am afraid of?  I want to write, to express, to explode, but I hold it in check anymore because there have been too many people along the way who take it all too personally and come at me with daggers trying to stifle my need to release, so I once again sit down and hold it all in for others benefit at the cost of my own. There is danger in trying to place ourselves in others thoughts, making them about us, when in fact we may be no where near the idea. I feel the winds of change blowing across my face more and more these days, and I know that my moment is coming when the blocks just dissipate and I freely release it all, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the horrific and oh what a story it will be. Look out E. L James, I have 50 shades of my own! ;)

 

 

 

Dana

“I want to write poems and lines that flow;

I want to tantalize you with visions

And lend seeds for you to sow.

I find my words lost and my heart not in it

I’m craving some sanity

And don’t know how to begin it.”

I handed her the paper with the words written out and waited for her to respond, she slid it back across the table to me and sat back in her chair and just stared at me. I felt uncomfortable and uneasy under her hard gaze, I could feel her disappointment in me and that killed me inside. If only she knew that my own disappointment was far stronger than hers could ever be, I knew I was falling short of where I wanted and needed to be, I knew too well that I had grown complacent in my own life, but I felt unsure about how to change it all, how to proceed.

“You’re not writing your life’s script in pencil,” she said softly, her eyes never releasing me, “it’s all in pen, so you can’t erase things, but you can damn sure re-do, re-invent and rewrite. I’m just not sure what sign you’re waiting for.”

I looked at the floor unsure of how to answer her, the truth is I had no answer for her at all, because I wasn’t even sure myself of what I was waiting for, or looking for, I really just knew that I was and had, held on to too many excuses to not make the move.

“What is it that you want from me, what can I do to make you feel safe enough to step fully into this?” She asked, but I could hear the demanding tone in her voice, she’s frustrated with me, tired of waiting on me, and I suppose I can agree with her on all counts.

“I think I’m just scared, Dana.” It came out of me in little more than a whisper, as though even my voice was afraid to be strong right then. Fear is a powerful force if not handled properly; and I understood more and more that maybe I wasn’t handling it well at all in some aspects of my life.

As I sat there looking at my agent across the table, I knew her patience was going to run out soon if I didn’t do something, and that scared me more than anything ever had; I couldn’t lose her because whether anyone else knew it or not, she was my backbone, my strength, my inner DIVA, and she was absolutely vital to my life. “Just don’t leave me, I promise I’m getting there…” my voice trailed off as the tears welled up in my eyes and I looked up at her pleadingly. “I’m not weak or frail, and I’m not a quitter, I know I can do this, just please don’t abandon me.” I said.

“I’m right here waiting…waiting for the Gold.” I knew exactly what she meant and what she was referring to in that moment and I just smiled and nodded. We finished our coffee and rose to leave, she didn’t hug me this time, just gave me that look of “Just stop giving me lip service and DO this.” And I fully understood.

A wise man once said that if you want to get a readers attention and hold it, you have to pack a powerful punch in the first paragraph on the very first page to make them want to keep turning the pages to find out what’s going to happen next; in essence the same message that my agent has been giving me for years now. As I walk out of the café this morning, I realize that I have to figure out why I am so afraid to punch.

 

 

Clarity

 

 

I almost believed it, the lines that you fed;

but then I moved deeper

out of the shallow waters where you tread.

I saw my reflection in the water so still;

Blessed and Protected

And full of what’s real.

Divinely created and loved so completely;

Made for a King,

And designed so sweetly.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday

I am about to begin my morning ritual to get ready to go earn my wage, but I got thinking about life and people and I felt like I had to release this tidbit of information before I go.

Life is full of all kinds of people, and I realize the importance each one of us has; even the people who hurt us, make us distrust etc...even they have a place because people are not always in our lives to teach us how TO be, sometimes they are there to teach us how NOT TO BE. I personally grew up in a world full of those people and today I'm thankful for them, because as I look in the mirror each day and face that woman staring back at me; I can feel good about who I see.

We spend alot of time in life being pissed off about the lackings of our parents or others, but ultimately there comes a day when the only person you can hold accountable for your actions are YOU. I could have been a statistic because of my past, I could have turned into all that I saw and experienced, but I didn't. I refuse to allow any of that to make me less than I was created to be.

Don't be less than you were created to be; no matter how people try to feed you their insecurity and mental poison; Just say NO.

Have a GREAT Thursday!

Angst

Upward reaching
heaven bound screams
eyes wide shut, cold sweat and empty dark dreams.
Wake me up from this nightmare
and put me back on solid ground-
feeling so lost and alone and
just longing to be found.

The Gold Xperience: Day 4 & 5 of 30- Positive thinking

The Gold Xperience: Day 4 & 5 of 30- Positive thinking: So yesterday was a challenging day to say the least; I did alright, but left alot of room for improvement, for sure. It's easy to fi...

Day 4 & 5 of 30- Positive thinking

So yesterday was a challenging day to say the least; I did alright, but left alot of room for improvement, for sure. It's easy to find gratitude and positive light when the world seems to be less threatening, but when life is throwing punches and a person has to dodge and weave the hits, it becomes more of a challenge. My goal is to focus on the good things though and not dwell in the lower vibration that life is trying to pull me down to while I am doing this 30 day experiment.

I finally made some time to just sit down and watch some good movies with friends last night, enjoyed some great laughs and some good times.

I am witnessing the strength and beauty in my beautiful daughter as she deals with her own struggles these days. She makes me proud without even realizing it and although I do worry for her regardless of what she says; I have Faith that she is resilient enough to rise above any and all of the bullshit that is being tossed in her direction right now.

Today I'm just simply glad to be here; to be Me and to be living life each day, even through the struggles and the pains, I can rejoice in the fact that I am still going, still pushing and still succeeding one step at a time. :)

Happy Wednesday!