Reach & Grow

I walked out of work last night reading a text from my daughter, “Mom, Krissy is leaving for school tomorrowL” In that moment I felt my own heart take a little bit of a dive, not for the same reasons, but because it sent a flash of memories through my mind of this beautiful little girl with the sweet smile, and the stark realization that she is not a little girl anymore, she is a young woman embarking on a whole new course of life. I have had the pleasure of knowing her since birth, and although from a distance for the past ten years, I have still been gifted with her presence and spirit, directly and indirectly, through her best friend, my daughter. It’s a whole new chapter of life, but one that I am sure will bring her so much joy and life experience!
I know that my baby girl is hurting and conflicted with sadness and pride and love for her cousin and best friend; and that part of it gets me a little emotional because I hate that for her, but secretly, or not so much, I am hoping it brings her closer to her mom too, because now my amazing niece will be just a few miles away attending the awesome UWGB. J

 

This morning my best friend called me on her way to take her son, one of my favorite men in the world, to college. I listened to her talk about her concerns for him, her pride in him, her overall love as a mother and it made me smile. And keeping with Walton devotion, like I have always known this family to have, grandma and grandpa were in one vehicle, mom and Al in another, and Andy driving his own as they made the journey to the dorms. I pictured the convoy in my mind and it made me smile; no matter what they all endure, I have never known a family so completely and constantly devoted to one another and to taking care of each other the way they do; perhaps part of why I am so blessed to be considered part of that family. I have watched Andy grow over the last 10 ½ years, and go through growing pains emotionally, through phases of exploration and reflection, and as I sat with him last October when his little sister passed and I had a conversation with him, I realized even more what an amazing and intelligent young man he is and how blessed his family, his friends and the world are to have him. My life has been blessed by his heart and his depth and I am so proud of him.

 After all of the sentimental reflection and the trip down memory lane with each of these young’uns in my mind; my Mom side kicked in and I thought about the anguish that we as mothers have as we watch our children leave home and begin something without us, something that we wont always have control over, something that is beyond great for the kids, but so terrifying to a mom as we let go. I listened to my best friend, my sister, my greatest ally, and my heart swelled for her, because not once did I hear her talk about herself even though I know she is feeling this so deeply inside. I’ve already taken this step with my children and have had to watch them leave and start on their own and the goodbyes never get easier for me when they come and go again; but I take comfort in the fact that life is like this; it offers us chances to reach and grow every minute and that isn’t limited to age or background, its something we ALL get to go through.

I am SO proud of you Andy and Kristina! I am so beyond happy for you that you are not afraid to step out of your comfort zones and go explore what life has waiting for you! I have no doubt that this will be just one of your many journey’s in life that will forever change and bless you as long as you over come fear and walk head up and chest out into the world and say HERE I AM; LET’S DO THIS!

 And to the 2 beautiful Mom’s who are growing through this too; Be Strong and know that you aren’t really letting go, you’re just giving them room to roam and find themselves, but they will always know the way back home and no distance or obstacles in between will cut the ties that keep a mother and child connected.

My Love to all of you-

08/29/13

GOD Moments

Have you said, “Oh my God, my rent is due and I have no idea how to pay it!”
And then suddenly you find yourself blessed with the money to pay your rent, or to buy food, etc…coincidence?
I don’t believe so, I believe those to be GOD Moments; moments when He shows up and takes care of you like a good Father does, they are also given as reassurances that we are being heard, that our struggles are not going unnoticed and we are NOT ALONE.
I have been having more and more of them lately; or maybe I am just more aware of them than I have ever been, which is probably more accurate. This morning as I am sitting here writing this, another one has come; my daughter just got a new job which is much needed and hopefully the beginning of a new phase of her life, a more positive phase.

I am also about to begin a new phase of my working life; one that I have worked hard for, and I have remained steadfast over the past year as I have applied on several occasions at this facility only to be turned down for someone else. I went in this time applying for one shift a week, with the mindset that at least I will get my foot in the door and be able to show them what I have to offer them, 2 weeks later in the executive directors office, I am offered a full on position with them! Talk about timing!

I visited an old friend yesterday and talked about Faith, family, how precious life is etc…this friend is currently without physical freedom, but is learning to free his mind and embrace something new that he has never known, inner peace and tranquility, and a sense that if he remains Faithful, he will be blessed. Had it not been for him asking that I please come to see him, I would not have, out of my own lack of courage and because it’s easier for me to deal with his pain through a letter once a week, as opposed to facing his current reality, but I was directed there yesterday morning as I found myself detouring from grocery shopping to make a quick stop there. When we first saw each other, I felt the outpouring of love that I have always had for this man; he is truly one of the best people who has ever blessed my world and I will always hold great love in my heart for him. His smile and his surprise were all I needed to know that I had made the right choice; I’m not even sure I made it, I just drove the car and someone else was steering it. Even in the smallest of signs I knew God had orchestrated this meeting; the usual 30 minute visit was allowed to run over into an hour, and we laughed and sometimes we just sat there looking at each other smiling; we always said so much that way to each other, through our eyes, I love that about us; it’s just simple and comfortable. As we rose to part ways, he told me how seeing me had made his day and made him feel good; made him feel cared for, he said. He thinks that I gifted him, but what I know to be true is that GOD gifted us both.

It is my hope for everyone reading this that you find the ability to be awake to God Moments, because they happen ALL the time, it’s really just a matter of whether you’re listening and paying attention or not. ;)

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