What You Think You Know- conclusion

 

With every woman and young girl who has crossed my path over the past 10 years, I am reminded of how important it is to nurture each other, to support one another and to empower one another. I’m not talking about women’s liberation here, I am talking about tending to our hearts, and tending to our souls and helping each other heal through life’s struggles and pains, instead of being petty and insecure and living behind walls of fear and resentment and jealousy. All of that serves no purpose in reaching higher ground; it will keep one stuck in quicksand.

I have watched a 17 year relationship crumble. I have been cheated on and lied to. I have been raped and sexually abused. I have been emotionally abused. I have been verbally abused. I have allowed myself to be used by people who weren’t worth the salt in my tears; I have allowed people to take up space and time in my precious life that didn’t have any intention of caring about anything other than themselves and what they could get.

I have been you; and somebody else, a wiser more seasoned woman is looking at me and saying the same thing.

I post what I post because I am surrounded by beautiful women who don’t know how beautiful and worthy they are, so they remain in relationships that do not serve them well, or they allow themselves to be the side chic or just one of many on his list of “to-do’s”—I post them because I have been you, and all it takes is for the right moment when things click to realize your worth, and to realize all of the ways you are blocking your own progress, and stagnating your own soul. Sometimes it takes another woman to stand in your presence and be a mirror so that you can see; who you are and what you are doing now, but more- who you can be, who you are meant to be, with some sunlight and water.

It’s important to me to love women, to offer nurturing where I can, and allow them to nurture me. I’m not blaming men, I’m merely standing up to say that unless and until we as women, learn how to love and support one another, empower one another without fear or agenda, we will continue to feel victimized by those who are careless with our hearts, and undeserving of our time. I post what I post to heal us; all of us.

09/©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved. 

 

What You Think You Know- part one

I am a face book junkie- its how I start my mornings as I drink my coffee and wander through the lives of those I care about. I love that technology has given us so much ability to stay connected to one another over miles and miles in between us.

Everyone has their reasons, and needs for the social site, some people just like the connection that it offers to those we love and miss who are too far to just go sit and visit with, some people like it for the attention they can draw to themselves with whatever methods they choose on any given day, and some people need it to air dirty laundry on a daily basis and make sure that the world knows how “victimized” they are. Ho Hum.

Whatever it is for each person is for them to understand, we all have the option of taking people off of our newsfeeds, deleting them all together or a multitude of other ways to rid ourselves of that which we don’t feel we want to see, or need to know about others.

For ME- fb has become a place to reach others with positive messages, empowering messages, I find myself drawn to other pages and sites that feed the need in me for forward progress, the ones that nurture something in me that needs healing- and those that keep me connected to my source with reminders and beautiful images of the light within. The funny thing about it all is that I will get messages sometimes asking me if things are ok, or if someone has “hurt me” because of something I will “share” or a quote I will pass on….Yeah, the irony is that people think they know who you are and what you are about or going through by the things they see you post.
I’m ready to enlighten you all to something-

I am good, but I have been through things. I am strong, but I have been knocked on my ass at times, I’ve loved and been betrayed by those who I believed loved me back, but I am better because of it.

I don’t post all of those things for myself everyday; I post those things because I truly believe that we as human beings need to stop being so selfish and self centered and understand that the more we are open and giving to the world around us, the more healed and centered in the right things we become. I believe in being that which I hope to receive; and I believe that we all go through things to make us wiser and stronger so that we can share what we know with each other and grow one another, instead of stifle and hold down.

I was never very trusting or open to relationships with women, until I met my best friend in 2003. She started out as my manager at a job that I practically begged for as I was going through my divorce, I don’t think either of us realized how our lives were about to be changed by one another, but being part of that group of women in that small store taught me about the love of women and how powerful it is, and with each passing day, I know that the love I share with her, my sister, my confidante, my best friend is something that I don’t ever want to be without again.

I became a sexual assault advocate in 2010, and sat in groups of women listening to the stories and feeling their pain, because I was one of them, we shared pain, we shared fear, but more importantly, we shared victory, because we are SURVIVORS, not victims.
(continue to part 2)

HAPPY

I sat here this morning feeling so damn content; and then I asked myself,

“Self? Why are you so happy today?”

(Yes, I do talk to my Self often…stop laughing!)

 

Well, then Self said, “Why shouldn’t I be happy? I woke up this morning from a restful nights sleep, which means I received a gift first thing this morning, and it isn’t a holiday or my birthday, it is just another day that the creator has given me to step up and give it one more go.” 

I thought about that for a second, but then I said,
“but we’re broke, and the car isn’t running right, and we’re alone, and , and, an….”

 Self smiled at me and gently put a finger to my lips to hush me; “We aren’t broke, we have everything we need today, food, shelter, a job that we love, friends who love us genuinely, family that we treasure, our health and our smile; everything else is just extra’s that will come in the perfect time; in the time that is right when we need it, not just because we want it. Don’t get stuck on those things that this material world convinces us are necessary;  see beyond your eyes and hear beyond your ears so that you may recognize the wealth that you have within you and around you.”

 

I sat quietly absorbing all of that and realized how right my Self was. I have a million reasons to feel this way and I am going to bask in it. J

I am doing something I love, and I am affecting others with my compassionate heart and my smile; and I see it everyday in the way I am greeted when I walk into the house at work, I feel it when I receive those random texts from my kids that say “I LOVE YOU”, I know it beyond the shadow of a doubt when those real friends in my life take time to let me know they care, and are in my corner in this world. I know it when I feel the very real energy of those who are gone from this physical world, but never leave me and always let me know just when I need it. I know true happiness when those who I have counted on and trusted in have let me down and betrayed my kind heart, because I still pray for their happiness and well being everyday, and I pray for the part of them that so easily hurts other with their callousness and self centered ways to be healed, because I refuse to give in to hate and animosity; neither of those serve me well.
As I listen to my daughter talk about her time at the fire department, her elation overflows and to hear her say “I am so happy when I am there, I know that’s where I am meant to be” My heart swells with pride because I want nothing more than for my children to know contentment and peace in this chaotic world, but also because it is a beautiful thing that she has chosen to go out into this world and be a part of making other people better; little does she know that just her presence is healing in and of itself and anyone blessed enough to be around her is already better because of it.

The cat box needs changing, and the laundry needs finishing among other random things on my list of to-do’s, but John Mayer is singing and the sun is shining, and I AM LOVE. I AM LOVED. And somewhere the water is calling me to come and sit peacefully with it today, so seek I shall for that quiet place with my Self and the water, and rejoice in all of the gifts that I have and the beauty that I feel within. It is my wish today that I share this feeling directly and indirectly with every person I cross paths with and every experience I find myself in today.

Love, Light and Peace to all of you, and to me and my Self JJJ