Thursday, June 6, 2013

A place of voids-

Who would you be if you didn't care about what other people thought or how they saw you?


Do you know who you are at your core?


WHAT makes you truly happy? What makes your soul sing?


A lot to ponder upon, I suppose, but valid questions that deserve answers nonetheless, right?

As I push myself to finish this book-writing stuff, or perhaps I should say continue, because I don't feel like I will ever be "finished" writing, I'm finding myself drawing in more and more, seeking refuge from all around me. Another moment of metamorphosis, another death and another rebirth. A re-creation of Self once more.

I think I've been lost, feeling too much or feeling nothing at all, riding the train of extremes so much of the time; I found myself trapped in nothingness today so I stopped everything and disconnected from everything external this morning and did yoga. I felt the anger in my body, I felt all the ways my spirit feels blocked and stifled. Everything hurt as I stretched and pushed out of my comfort zones. So much like my life lately- staying safely nestled in my own secure walls.
I regained something soft inside, but I am still floating in a void place. A place void of emotion one way or another with a lot of questions and a lack of answers. The frustration comes from knowing that the answers are there at my disposal if I can just tune in to the channels and listen, so why am I struggling so? How can we be so wise, yet ..........I commit. I retreat. I peek through the door but stay on this side of it. I pray to all of the energies of my angels and guides to just keep pushing me, please don't give up on me.


 "I will write until I cannot form the words anymore, and once I pass from this place, I will whisper them to you so that they may still be read."  That came from my father this morning...." I know it was him because he told me that when I write something and don't know where it just came from, it's him helping me, guiding me, letting me know simply that he is here with me, even though I don't see him.
Just keep talking to me, and together the words will be written, Dad.




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