HAPPY

I sat here this morning feeling so damn content; and then I asked myself,

“Self? Why are you so happy today?”

(Yes, I do talk to my Self often…stop laughing!)

 

Well, then Self said, “Why shouldn’t I be happy? I woke up this morning from a restful nights sleep, which means I received a gift first thing this morning, and it isn’t a holiday or my birthday, it is just another day that the creator has given me to step up and give it one more go.” 

I thought about that for a second, but then I said,
“but we’re broke, and the car isn’t running right, and we’re alone, and , and, an….”

 Self smiled at me and gently put a finger to my lips to hush me; “We aren’t broke, we have everything we need today, food, shelter, a job that we love, friends who love us genuinely, family that we treasure, our health and our smile; everything else is just extra’s that will come in the perfect time; in the time that is right when we need it, not just because we want it. Don’t get stuck on those things that this material world convinces us are necessary;  see beyond your eyes and hear beyond your ears so that you may recognize the wealth that you have within you and around you.”

 

I sat quietly absorbing all of that and realized how right my Self was. I have a million reasons to feel this way and I am going to bask in it. J

I am doing something I love, and I am affecting others with my compassionate heart and my smile; and I see it everyday in the way I am greeted when I walk into the house at work, I feel it when I receive those random texts from my kids that say “I LOVE YOU”, I know it beyond the shadow of a doubt when those real friends in my life take time to let me know they care, and are in my corner in this world. I know it when I feel the very real energy of those who are gone from this physical world, but never leave me and always let me know just when I need it. I know true happiness when those who I have counted on and trusted in have let me down and betrayed my kind heart, because I still pray for their happiness and well being everyday, and I pray for the part of them that so easily hurts other with their callousness and self centered ways to be healed, because I refuse to give in to hate and animosity; neither of those serve me well.
As I listen to my daughter talk about her time at the fire department, her elation overflows and to hear her say “I am so happy when I am there, I know that’s where I am meant to be” My heart swells with pride because I want nothing more than for my children to know contentment and peace in this chaotic world, but also because it is a beautiful thing that she has chosen to go out into this world and be a part of making other people better; little does she know that just her presence is healing in and of itself and anyone blessed enough to be around her is already better because of it.

The cat box needs changing, and the laundry needs finishing among other random things on my list of to-do’s, but John Mayer is singing and the sun is shining, and I AM LOVE. I AM LOVED. And somewhere the water is calling me to come and sit peacefully with it today, so seek I shall for that quiet place with my Self and the water, and rejoice in all of the gifts that I have and the beauty that I feel within. It is my wish today that I share this feeling directly and indirectly with every person I cross paths with and every experience I find myself in today.

Love, Light and Peace to all of you, and to me and my Self JJJ

 

 

 

A place of voids-

Who would you be if you didn't care about what other people thought or how they saw you?

Do you know who you are at your core?

WHAT makes you truly happy? What makes your soul sing?

A lot to ponder upon, I suppose, but valid questions that deserve answers nonetheless, right?

As I push myself to finish this book-writing stuff, or perhaps I should say continue, because I don't feel like I will ever be "finished" writing, I'm finding myself drawing in more and more, seeking refuge from all around me. Another moment of metamorphosis, another death and another rebirth. A re-creation of Self once more.

I think I've been lost, feeling too much or feeling nothing at all, riding the train of extremes so much of the time; I found myself trapped in nothingness today so I stopped everything and disconnected from everything external this morning and did yoga. I felt the anger in my body, I felt all the ways my spirit feels blocked and stifled. Everything hurt as I stretched and pushed out of my comfort zones. So much like my life lately- staying safely nestled in my own secure walls.
I regained something soft inside, but I am still floating in a void place. A place void of emotion one way or another with a lot of questions and a lack of answers. The frustration comes from knowing that the answers are there at my disposal if I can just tune in to the channels and listen, so why am I struggling so? How can we be so wise, yet ..........I commit. I retreat. I peek through the door but stay on this side of it. I pray to all of the energies of my angels and guides to just keep pushing me, please don't give up on me.

 "I will write until I cannot form the words anymore, and once I pass from this place, I will whisper them to you so that they may still be read."  That came from my father this morning...." I know it was him because he told me that when I write something and don't know where it just came from, it's him helping me, guiding me, letting me know simply that he is here with me, even though I don't see him.
Just keep talking to me, and together the words will be written, Dad.