I get really disappointed at times that my life is not full
of “wealth” and “stuff”, and I won’t sit here and say that I don’t desire to be
comfortable with money in my life because I think we all want that to some
degree or another, but I will say that I have been lost.
In a moment of silence with my Self today, I realized how
incredibly blind I have been to so much in my life without even realizing it.
I had to rehash old journals and poems to get the awakening;
but it hit like a good hard slap on the ass and had me sitting here laughing
and crying my way through the emotions.
I AM rich, rich as hell actually, ya wanna know why? Because
all of the things that hurt me so much in the past, the things that kept me
away from my Self are no longer issues at all! I don’t cower in public anymore
and avoid smiling at a stranger for fear of being emotionally attacked by an
insecure ego; I don’t hesitate to speak to the man next to me in line
somewhere.
I don’t fake who I am for anyone anymore. I live a life true
to who I am inside, at the core of my being. I am imperfect and flawed, yes,
but I continue to reach and grow.
I don’t have the money that I would like to have, granted,
but I have so much love and friendship in my life that I have faith that outer
success is only a matter of timing, and we all know it doesn’t happen in our
time; the higher energies of the universe map all that for us.
I love my Self more and more unconditionally each day that I
am gifted with a new morning, although I still fall short I am closer all the
time.
I stopped being a passenger in life and took the drivers
seat and watched two of my own personal dreams come to fruition, I graduated
from college a year ago with my BA, and I saw my first collection of writing go
into print and be sold. On another level, I was witness to one of the happiest
days of my son’s life, his wedding day, and my daughters’ graduation as an EMT.
Pride wells up in me for all of us; we made one hell of a team, and
individually we are all strong in our ways. Being a mother has made me rich all
by itself because nothing can bring out the warrior in a woman’s spirit like being
a mother. LOL.
It was in fighting for them that I learned how to fight for
my Self. They made me want to be the best person I could be, so I set high
standards for my Self.
No comments:
Post a Comment