How sad is it that I am so miserable at my job that I have to sit and drink "stress relief, anxiety calming" tea before I go? Ugh.
I looked in the mirror this morning and saw it on my face too which really pissed me off. I understand I am getting older, I understand that since I'm not rich, I'll have to live with my wrinkles and less than perfect skin, but damn! The daily grind of life and struggle and survival is taking a serious toll on me; I havent slept right all week, been waking up with anxiety in the middle of the night, my stomach isn't right....what the hell is going on?
The worst and best part is that I know it's a matter of self perception; this is all as bad as I imagine it to be, or it's as tolerable as I can imagine it to be, so what is so hard about just choosing positive energy over the misery? Where is my "go with the flow" ability right now? That bitch walked out the door with my patience, (the very little I had to begin with) and my sanity! :(
Lord, please help me to rise up and shine the way you created me to, please help me to be kind and patient even to those who I feel like are testing me at every turn; I know that this is just a moment I am in, and that it too shall pass, and I know that you would never put more on me than I can handle, I just wish you didn't have so much faith in me sometimes ;)
Overcome, Rise, Renew, Rejoice!~ Peace!
November
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